The Grind

Dunkmaster Darius

Sporting over a hundred different endorsement deals and tens of millions of fans the world over, Darius has transformed himself from a showy basketball prodigy to the world's leading authority on dunking. He has recently perfected the Dunktown Express, where he dunks so hard that all public transit on the planet simultaneously explodes.

Udyr

Day Job

The grind isn't just work. It's the struggle, the hustle, sometimes invigorating, sometimes demoralizing. It's a weeklong rollercoaster with comedic bends and tragic drops, only to start all over again on Monday. Are we working hard or hardly working? It's all the same on the grind.

Students of the Hiraclaw Dojo know that the best way to tell people you're good at punching is to have a giant screen-printed fist on your clothes. That's a karate fact, according to sensei Udyr. Which is why their parents all buy them the special Hiraclaw gi (only $89.95).

Black Belt Udyr

Zilean

Consistently in a near-comatose state from peering across the space-time continuum, Zilean's more recent hobbies include being terrible at hacky-sack, paying way too much for a ticket for awful music festivals, and ordering too many pizzas. He also owns New Age bookstore, which is closed most days.

Groovy Zilean